When good advice goes bad....

Saddest story: (and this is for my sister-in-law’s mom... she loves sad stories... she’s probably never read my blog, but if she’s anything like my brother describes she’ll probably start reading based on this story alone...). I was on call last week, and I was covering the transplant service. When you cover the transplant service if someone comes in over night for a transplant and you have to admit them (write a history and physical and put in their orders). So of course someone comes in over night... now healthy people don’t get transplants, so if someone comes in for a transplant it can dramatically improve their life, saving it a lot of times. Of course it’s not without risks... sometimes transplants don’t work... sometimes surgery doesn’t work... (I know... I’m giving away the ending). The sad part is this... a guy comes in with his huge family for the pretransplant admission. While I was interviewing them, they asked me, “If this was your mom or your sister what would you do?” I said that I would want her to go through with the transplant... and I absolutely meant it. Sadly, this man has not done well, to the point where they had to remove the transplanted organ (now every transplantable organ is very important.... that’s why they transplant them, because without them you die... see where I’m going?) and his poor family is holding a vigil outside the ICU (mostly crying), just hoping that another organ becomes available within the next few days (because again, you don’t last long). I walk by every day and look them in the eye, they don't look mad, or even sad really, they look helpless and afraid. I smile at them and nod, but it’s tough... it honestly breaks my heart. It's been an intense reminder of how much people rely on your answers for direction in the most vulnerable times of their lives. It's what makes my job the best and the worst job in the world, but knowing that there are ups and downs doesn't make it any easier when it's the worst job in the world...

At this point My sister-in-law’s mom can stop reading that’s where the sadness ends...

Crankiest Story: On a completely different note, I am slowly gaining a reputation as... how do I say this... someone who can sometimes, on rare occasion, not have a lot of patience. I know... I know... it’s hard to believe. The running joke is, “M, who in the hospital haven’t you yelled at?” (the short answer is... everyone at my level or below...) Well sometimes the rants become outrageous, but I honestly don’t think of them as outrageous at the time. I am just frustrated, and this is how my particular frustrations manifests itself... as an example, the computer system at the hospital was just changed. They “updated” our old system and we are having several “unexpected” problems (really?... we overhauled a computer system and we didn't foresee any problems?... really?). Because it’s only an update, it still looks like the old functional system. This only adds to my frustration, it's like a flashlight with a dead battery.... it looks like it should work, it feels like it should work, but it could not be any more useless... I guess that makes it more like a Democrat (but that’s neither here nor there). So after my work comes to a grinding halt for at least 2 hours on one particular day... I call the complaint desk, and the following exchange occurred:

Me: Umm... the charting program is down...
Her: What seems to be the problem?...
Me: Umm... the charting program being down isn’t enough of a problem?...
Her: What do you mean down?
Me (feeling myself getting snippier... see how I make it seem like I can’t control it? I'm like the incredible hulk of snarkiness): Ummm.... what part of down is confusing to you?... awkward silence... I mean, the program isn’t responding. And frankly, it’s really frustrating...
Her: I understand, but hopefully it won’t be down much longer...
Me: (avoiding the urge to ask her what she means by down) Ummm... Much longer?... are you kidding me?... This is ridiculous! How am I supposed to work if my sole means of accomplishing my job is taken away from me by circumstances out of my control...
Her: I understand sir...
Me: I’m not so sure you do!.... how would you feel if every day I came into your job turned off your computer, unplugged your phone, and stared at you for hours at a time? How much work would you be able to accomplish?... Well that’s how I feel right now... and it’s not a pleasant feeling....

The conversation of course ended with me apologizing for the problem not being this particular person’s fault and saying I didn’t mean to be mean to her. But man... I was on a roll... And yes, I’m trying to be nicer... but sometimes mean things just come out, I mean you should have heard what I said to the guy who runs the pizza line in the cafeteria...

UPDATE: After three long days (roughly 45 hours for me... and about 3,287 passes by the crying family outside the ICU) the guy finally got another organ... which he received and is doing great now... so long story short the family cries less...