Uncreative Title....

So now that I'm almost two months into this whole residency thing, I thought I would include an update along the same lines as my last one. You know, "Funniest," "Most awkward," "Most annoying..." and other such memories that struck me as memorable at the time... Honestly, (and you may have noticed without my saying so) I'm really verbose... I know... I know... it comes as a surprise, but it's true. So I decided to break it up into more manageable single stories...


On that note, here's the story I dubbed as Most Speechless Moment:


I was working on the floor (code for hospital) one day, and I got a call from my Chief Resident (code for “One of My Many Bosses, aka the Highest Resident Boss on my team). My chief says, “Intern (code for me... some day I hope to get a name), go see Ms X in clinic and tell me what you think.” Now a little background, my chief was in the operating room and not able to go see this lady so he asked me to... which is cool because I get to do things I normally wouldn’t be asked to do. I also get to see a patient and make a decision with at least the 3 minute walk down the hall before someone tells me what to do. (More background) Ms. X is a 63 year old woman who had been in the hospital the week before. She had a big wound that was now draining some clear fluid and needed someone from the team to see her (don't worry this is not terribly uncommon and very treatable). I show up to clinic to see her. I find her there with her sister (who had been taking care of her at home.... clearly two "women" cut from the same cloth). She’s sitting there in a wheelchair with her nightgown on and we had the following exchange:

Old Lady: Oh Dr. P, I’m glad someone that I know came to see me. I’ve had a lot of drainage from my wound and I’m worried (not her exact words, but you get the idea).
We talk for 20 minutes (which is a long time for me)... and at the end of 20 minutes I recap everything we talked about (I’m an excellent communicator... I get it from my dad).
Old Lady (in a very Southern-elderly-woman-accent):“Why no Doctah P, I believe that’s everything... unless there’s something else you’d like to tahlk about?... What should we tahlk about?... We could tahlk about sex if wahnt?...” (Her and her sister giggle wildly.... and I mean wildly...)
Me (probably blushing):....
Me:....
Me:...
Me:...
Me:... Well Ma’am, I’m not sure how much I could add to that conversation, so I’ll just get goin’ now (apparently, I have a printed Southern accent)... I will be back once, I have talked to your surgeon...

Her and Her sister: Still giggling wildly... “Ahlright Doctah P... we'll see you in a minute”

Me:... Ummmm.... "Alright... Ma'am?"